If I were more financially well-off, Iโd be two clicks away from buying a bag, a cup, or a water bottle I absolutely do not need โ but feel, on some primal level, that I must have โ at any given moment.
Right now, itโs the Cuyana Classic Easy Zippered Tote. (Soft leather. Roomy but not too roomy. A zipper.)
A pink Stanley cup also whispers to me from TikTok, even though I already own a perfectly good Larq bottle, objectively superior by almost every metric.
Itโs not about need. Itโs about containment. Itโs about possibility.
The dream of holding my life โ all of it โ in one beautiful, sturdy, personal receptacle.
If youโve ever caught yourself pausing mid-scroll to admire a woman effortlessly breezing through an airport, Stanley cup in hand, designer tote slung casually over her shoulder like a badge of effortless womanhood, you know exactly what I mean.
Our obsession with containers โ the right purse, the right travel mug, the right anything โ isn’t just about aesthetics. It’s about autonomy. Identity. Control. Itโs about building a portable world we can survive in. Thereโs always the hope that if we can just find the perfect vessel, maybe we can carry everything life throws at us, too.
Like many others, Iโve lost hours to the TikTok vortex of โwhatโs in my bagโ videos โ the ones where women methodically unpack their lives: passports, protein bars, lip gloss, portable chargers, miniature pepper spray cans, even collapsible water bowls for their dogsโ and while Iโm not proud of it, Iโm not exactly sorry, either.
Itโs mesmerizing, and not just because Iโm nosy (though, okay, a little). Each video feels like a blueprint for survival. A glimpse into how other women armor themselves against the world. The bag isnโt just an accessory. Itโs a tactical unit. Itโs a plan. Itโs a small, beautiful rebellion against chaos.
Lately, my own plan revolves around a dream: someday owning a Birkin 35 โ caramel, pink, or slate gray โ in soft Togo leather.
Not because I want to flex it on Instagram.
Because I want to throw it under a cafรฉ table, overfill it with books and groceries, treat it like the battered, beloved tool it was originally designed to be, ร la the one and only Jane Birkin.
To me, a Birkin isnโt a precious jewel destined to sit behind glass. Itโs freedom in a bag.
Capitalism taps into our primal need to consume, but the need exists with or without capitalism. Letโs not forget that Moscowโs famous shopping mall, the ะะปะฐะฒะฝัะน ะฃะฝะธะฒะตััะฐะปัะฝัะน ะะฐะณะฐะทะธะฝ โ GUM, or โMain Universal Storeโ โ thrived even at the heights of Soviet communism.
Hunger isnโt just for food; it can be for conversation, sex, safety โ and yes, for beautiful, useful objects. Even in scarcity, we yearn to possess, to hold, to prepare. Today, in a United States increasingly shadowed by scarcity, that hunger feels sharper than ever.
But maybe it’s not just about wanting things. Maybe it’s about wanting to hold things โ to gather safety, autonomy, and a little beauty into a world that often feels unsafe, uncontrollable, and ugly.
For women especially, containers have always meant more than convenience.
Theyโve been survival kits, toolboxes, medicine cabinets, and hope chests โ a way to carry not just what we need, but who we are.
What Iโd Pack in My Dream Bag
(Because if youโre carrying your life, you might as well carry it in style.)
- Portable charger: Because nothing says โmodern survivalโ like a phone at 2% on the subway.
- Wallet: Leather, in โcognacโ โ slightly worn, stuffed with six months of ATM receipts.
- Multiple reusable bags: For grocery runs, bookstore hauls, and bad decisions at Sephora.
- Snack: Maybe one of those underdog strawberry Elevation bars from Aldi. Or maybe chocolate.
- A novel: Thriller or romance, depending on whether I need adrenaline or affection.
- Perfume vial: A tiny glass bottle of courage, gifted by my friend Jeannine.
- Hair essentials: Scrunchie, clip, and enough bobby pins to build a fortress. (Don’t ask.)
- Cash: Because when WiFi fails, cash still works.
- Business card holder: Olive green pleather โ because Iโm faking it until I make it.
- Massive pink keychain: Puffball, kitty cat knuckles, card wallet, seatbelt cutter, window breaker, key knife, kawaii wristlet, Kubotan, brass whistle, and pepper spray โ with lingering annoyance that the State of New York wonโt let me order basic self-defense tools online like a sane person.
- Datebook: Yes, a paper one. Yes, I actually use it.
- Cosmetic bag: Lip balm, two lipsticks (neutral blush and power red), tiny mascara, hand cream, tampons, alcohol wipes, flossers, eye drops โ and a few tiny mysteries I rediscover every time I clean it out.
(Because if youโre carrying your life, you might as well carry it in style.)
In other words:
Everything I need to survive a blackout, a date, a spontaneous overnight trip, a bad meeting, a good bookstore, and the entire emotional rollercoaster of modern womanhood.
Why We Carry
Women have always been vessels in the most literal sense โ bearers of life, caretakers, carriers of style and culture. And while I donโt romanticize the expectation that women must carry and nurture, I also canโt deny how deeply the image runs. Thereโs something almost archetypal about it: the idea that to be ready is to be safe. To be self-contained is to be powerful.
Having essentials at your fingertips makes the world feel slightly less overwhelming. Knowing that there’s cash, keys, or a stun gun tucked safely inside your bag can be the difference between feeling prepared and feeling powerless. Physical protection isnโt theoretical โ it’s real. Ask any woman who’s ever navigated a dark parking garage or a deserted subway platform at 1:00 in the morning.
While a pink teddy bear-shaped personal alarm or a gold key knife might seem silly to some, these aren’t just trinkets. Theyโre the modern tools of autonomy โ everyday spells of protection and preparation.
Itโs Not Just Stuff
In the end, a Birkin isnโt about luxury.
Itโs about permission: to carry my life proudly โ messy, glamorous, real.
Weโre not obsessed with containers because weโre frivolous. Weโre obsessed because they give shape to everything we carry: dreams, fears, lipsticks, seatbelt cutters, love notes, tampons, prayers, receipts.
A bag isnโt just a place to put things.
Itโs a place to be โ messy, prepared, alive.
Itโs a world we build for ourselves, one vessel at a time.
Whatโs in your dream bag?
Tell me โ Iโd love to know what essentials you canโt live without. ๐โจ
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